Blessing vs. Impressing

You know how you hear something over and over again and you think you know it...but then finally one day, you hear it from someone else and in a different way and it just hits you like a ton of bricks?! I don't know, maybe that doesn't happen to any of you very often..but it happens to me all the time!
It happened again today...
We have a "relationships" class in my new ward and I went today for the first time. I know it sounds kinda funny, but it's actually a really good thing, especially for young single adults. Never has any lesson hit me so hard like this lesson did today! wow! I am not a very good writer, or even speaker for that matter, when it comes to expressing my feelings. I never feel like I really show others how I feel, but i'll do my best.
The main topic was "Blessing vs. Impressing". Now, going back to what I said earlier, I have grown up hearing "The way to be happy is serving others, being selfless, etc. etc." Right? we've all heard that. It finally hit me really hard today, and I'm going to make it a priority to change and focus more on blessing rather than impressing. I am outgoing and love to be the center of attention, and this has become a problem because it has caused me to be selfish and self-centered. I have become too focused on getting people to like me rather than being Christ-like and blessing the lives of others. I'm not saying that being outgoing and loud is a bad thing, but it is a problem when you are doing those things for the wrong reasons. Now, i'm always too hard on  myself, so I need to stop for a minute here and say that I have always loved people and tried to be a good person. But I need to be better! I know that if we all make it a priority to focus on blessing the lives of others rather than impressing others and being selfish that we will be happier people.
This teacher also talked about the social media. It's a great thing and we are so blessed to have it, but think about it. The whole focus of it is ourselves! Twitter? oh here look what I did today, look at this cool thing I said, look at how funny I am, me me ME! Facebook? Does that really show who we are? No, it's all the good stuff! These things aren't bad, but again if the motives aren't right then they can be! we have been encouraged by the brethren to use these things to bless the lives of others and spread the gospel. I am going to do this from now on.
final point: Charity is the single most important thing we can develop while on this earth. We need to love as the Lord loves. We need to stop focusing on ourselves and get out there and work! Please read this scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:3-4. It just says it in a better way than I ever could.

Get real!

Forgive me and my cheesy blog title...but this blog is all about how I think it's so important to be real. Obviously right? No one likes to talk to someone who's fake, and only saying what you want to hear so that you will like that person. So...why do some people do it? I'll tell you why I used to do it, because I am a people pleaser. I am not happy unless everyone else is happy. While that is not a bad thing...it has kind of ruined me. The real Christie ceases to exist sometimes because I am too busy trying to be someone who the other person wants me to be so they will be happy and comfortable in whatever situation we may be in.
DON'T WORRY!
I'm still me. It's not like i've been living a million lies my whole life. Not at all. What I mean is that I haven't really expressed my true views at times when I could have, I haven't disagreed with someone when I should have, I haven't held my tongue when I should have, etc. 
I have made it a goal of mine to work on being more real. More me. To say and do things because that's who I am...but still keep in mind the feelings of others, I don't want to totally become a non-censored little brat!
I am just going to stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking and just be me. Yes, I know I know, you all learned this back in junior high...but I'm still learning!

My favorite talk at conference

This past conference was awesome, as it always is. I love listening to all the leaders of our church speak to us in such effective ways - knowing, that each word that is spoken is something that we need to hear! It's just so great. 

My favorite talk was the one by D. Todd Christoferson. He talked about trials and dealing with them and becoming better from them. He shares a story about a gardener cutting down a bush that was growing a lot, the bush gets mad at him and asks him why he would cut him down when he was growing so tall and doing so well for himself. The gardener says, "Hey, I am the gardener here and I know what I want you to be and someday when you have fruit  you will thank me for cutting you down now." I really liked this story. Of course I have always known that God has a plan for each of us, that He knows what's best for us...but I needed to be reminded of this, and this story illustrates the principle so plain and simple. Recently I have thought a lot about the things that I am going through and I always have the question, "Why?" in my head. What am I supposed to learn? Was I not doing what's right before? Why do I need to go through this? It helps me to endure and endure with a joyful attitude when I remember that the Lord is putting trials and things into our lives to shape us into who we need to be. I am so grateful for that knowledge and testimony. 

I mentioned above about having a joyful attitude as we endure our trials. Easier said than done, I know. I just recently broke up with a guy that I REALLY liked a lot. I liked him so much I smothered the crap out of him and scared him away! Ha ha! To be honest I have never been in a situation like this before, and it's super hard. I went through all sorts of emotions...confusion, frustration, impatience, anger, more confusion, anxiety, heart-break, oh and CONFUSION! In the midst of trying to sort out all these emotions, I lost my joyful attitude in life and was dealing with the trial in a numb and distant fashion. It's selfish. I am so grateful for this talk and the wake up call! We all need to deal with our trials with a joyful attitude and remember to be grateful for the priceless lessons that we are learning as we go through these trials.

My poopies

These are my Poopies. 

I love them very much. 

Can you see why?

This is my "baby cakes" or "cakes"

This is my "gracey face" or "face".

A lesson learned and a great day!

I learned a really good lesson this last week! Hit me so hard and will be with me for the rest of my life. It actually came to me via a guy I have been dating (we actually broke up last night...rough...but anyway). I had wronged him in a way and instead of letting the hurt settle in, really feeling the pain of what I had done, and learning and growing from it enough to not do it again...I tried to get over it real quick and fix it and even make it seem smaller than it was! It was terrible! I didn't even realize what I was doing until this...I apologized to him for what I had done and for trying to manipulate the situation...but then a few days later I did the exact same thing to him again! So I learned nothing. and he brought that to my attention and it hit hard. When we do something wrong...we need to really let time pass, feel the pain, and learn from it. We can't just go through it as fast as we can and try to make things all better ASAP! I used to do this as a kid...I would argue with my mom and then we'd leave all mad and instead of letting time pass and my emotions cool, I would run up to her room a minute later and yell, "I"M SORRY MOM!!" in her face all angry and my intent was to make amends but...I hadn't let enough time pass and really thought about what happened. I just jumped the gun on making it better. I hope I'm making sense. It really is a good lesson. 

Then in relief society today, the teacher mentioned the story that Ukdorf gave one time about how pilots try to go through turbulence real fast when really the best way to do it is to slow down and endure it. We need to slow down in our trials and really find out what the Lord is trying to teach us. Then those trials will become stepping stones and not road blocks in our path back to Him. 

Even though the boy broke up with me last night...and i'm heart broken about it...It was a really good day today! Church was great, and then I went home and we had our family dinner and we had a lesson after wards. The lesson was on how we are each given our individual gifts that no one else has, and we have a work to do on this earth. We each picked out a name of someone else in the family and we were to say what gift that person has. It was really emotional and the spirit was really there with us today. I love my family so so SO dearly. I will never forget tonight and it has given me the motivation to be that much better and to let my light shine and keep developing and embracing those gifts and things that I have been given to keep the work moving forward! 

I challenge you all to do the same!

A quote and a lesson

It's been so nice to have this 2 week Christmas break and not have any sort of responsibility or anything because I've been able to do some thinking...and think about life...not the next assignment due. It's been great. I have felt so close to the Spirit here in my beautiful home with my beautiful family. Anyway, I was playing with my phone and went through the notes section and found one of my favorite quotes written there...

          "I will give place no more to the enemy of my soul" (I can't remember who said it)

I love that quote. It's so strong and final. 

We need to not give any place in our life for Satan. A place is a form of residence, if you will, for someone to preside. If there is no place there is no where for that person to be. If there is no where for that person to be, they have no way of influencing you. No place for Satan = no influence from Satan. 

This is easier said than done...especially with the way the world is these days (scares the shizzy out of me...the world is so corrupt!). I think if we can just eliminate the things that trigger our weaknesses...just those little things ("There are no little things" -volleyball coaches) ...that will help us not give any place for Satan.

So, that's my quote.

Now for the lesson that I learned over the last few days.

It's kind of hard to explain. I learned that even when your intentions are good with someone...loving that person is always more important. I know you probably had to read that a few times...and even after that it probably doesn't quite make sense haha! What I mean to say is, Love is always the most important thing. In any case or circumstance with any person...loving that person is more important than anything else you were trying to do with that person. I've just had a few instances this week where I have tried to do something and my intentions were good...but I forsook love in order to do that thing...and I felt after wards and knew that to be wrong. Love is most important. We need to remember that when we are dealing with someone...they are a child of God and we need to love them as He would.

My beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and hot mother

Dear Mom,

You are amazing. In my last blog I talked about "my angels"...not only are you one of these for me...but you have taught me to recognize angels in my life, and that is a gift from you that I will always treasure. I think of you and the things that you have taught me and I get a warm feeling inside and instantly my eyes start to tear up. I have such feelings of joy around you and love hanging out with you. You are my very best friend in this whole entire world. You would do absolutely ANYTHING for me. and I really mean anything. I have seen you make yourself uncomfortable physically, socially, mentally, emotionally...in order to make me comfortable. You don't just do this every once in a while....it's just natural for you and you do it all the time. You just love and love and love and give and give and give and never take.

I'm in awe of how amazing you are and a little frustrated because I want to be like you...and it's hard to be as amazing as you!! As I get older, and experience what life has to offer, I come to understand more and more how deep and real your love is and the sacrifices you have made on my behalf. I also get frustrated because I know I will never be able to repay you for what you have done for me. It's far too much. The love you have for me and others is such a Christ-like love. The life you live is the ultimate example to me and has strengthened my testimony so much. 

I know you have trials and things you have to deal with...but through it all you never cease to amaze me with your strength and will to get through things and be better. You teach me every single day without uttering a single word...just simply by the way that you live. 

I'll never forge the times you have cuddled with me in my bed as I drench you with my tears, the times you have lit candles, cleaned the house, and put on music when I come home...just so I can feel absolute comfort and peace when I come home, the times when you have given in and let me buy things at the store that we both know I shouldn't get, the times when you drop all of the important things you have to do to talk to me, or the times you take the time to talk to me even when you have a migraine, the times when you have slaved all day to cook amazing meals that are healthy when we could just have cereal or burritos, the times when you have just walked away when I was being relentless/stupid/mean instead of yelling back at me, the times when you have gotten SO excited for me when I come home and talk about a boy, the times when we have just gone for drives and talked for hours about life, the times I've watched you change people's lives with your kindness, the times i've seen you show absolute patience with Charity...oh my goodness I could go on forever! You're probably falling asleep now! 

Mom, I wish there was some way I could truly show you how I feel about you, instead of writing a silly blog about you. There's just no way I could show you just how much I love you. but, I think you know what I mean when I say...

                  I love you to the moon and back.

    Love,

       Mooie